The truth, however unpopular it may be is that marriage is not for everyone, and nor should it be. Often Paul’s letters addressed an issue the churches were going through or a question they had asked him. At the time of Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth, there was a famine in the land making it difficult to find food and to provide for their families. The people began asking if they should leave their spouses or their fiancés in order that they might fend for themselves and find sustenance or if people who were unmarried should seek out a spouse. Paul makes it clear that the words he gives to the church are not a divine revelation or a command, but simply sound advice. However, in 1 Corinthians 7:25-27, Paul says
“Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”
Paul claims that people should remain as they are, that they should not seek to leave their spouses or to forsake the commitments they had made to each other, but that if they are single, it would be wise to remain so for the present time. Now, this passage is one that is difficult to apply to our own lives since we find ourselves in a different situation than the church in Corinth; however, it does bring up a truth that, while subtle in this section, becomes clearer as Paul goes on. Paul makes it clear that there are circumstances in life where we should not marry but that if you chose to marry, you have not sinned and by the same token if you do not marry you too have not sinned. The truth is that marriage is not and should not be our ultimate goal in life because it will not bring us fulfillment and meaning that we desire. 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 says,
”What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.”
Paul makes it clear that our time on earth is short and this world with all its treasures and desires, all its hopes and dreams is passing away. In fact, in Matthew 22:30 Jesus claims that, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Jesus makes it clear that marriage is not forever and it will not exist in eternity. While it is clear that those people we love and even our spouses will be in Heaven as long as they have put their faith in Jesus, and we will certainly still love them, even more since we will be capable and will love them with a perfect love, we will love every person with this perfect love and as such marriage will not continue or be present when we go to Heaven. The interesting claim that Paul makes it that “from now on those who have wives should live as if they do not…” (1 Corinthians 7:29b). Paul is not saying that if we are married that we should ignore or forsake our spouses, but that we should begin to view relationships in light of eternity. While marriage is temporary, God is forever. Our commitment in life is to God first and should always come first. Doing such does not make us a bad wife or a bad girlfriend, on the contrary it makes us a better wife or girlfriend because when we are walking with Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to sanctify us and make us more like Him, we find that we are more loving, more giving, more forgiving, and more peaceable than we ever could be on our own. But we should love God and be devoted to following Him and walking in His ways far more than we ever are in love with a spouse.
In our culture we find that people run after romance and relationships in an often idolatrous manner and seek after all these things to find wholeness and to make us complete. Even in the church, marriage is often talked about as though it will bring ultimate fulfillment and that once in marriage we will finally be complete and be able to do what God has called us to do. But the thing is that if marriage was truly meant to complete us, than Jesus Himself, the most complete and the most fulfilled man to ever walk this earth would have been married in His time here. We tell each other that if we just believe hard enough, or trust God’s plan, or whatever it is that He will bring us a man. We even tell each other that we should not worry because God has someone prepared for us and that He will bring someone into our lives, but ladies this is not necessarily true, in fact it is a disservice to each other to talk in such a manner. Singleness is not a curse and it is not a lowlier or less honorable state, and for some it is right for them to remain single. While a married or dating person is concerned with how they can please their partner and thus their interests are divided, a single person is in the unique position to concern their affairs only with the Lord’s. As Paul writes,
“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:34-35).
So girls, my challenge to you is this—if you find yourself to be single, I encourage you to make the most of your singleness. Take the time you have been given to pursue Jesus and to grow in your depth and knowledge of who God is and to find your ultimate fulfillment and satisfaction in the only One who can truly make you complete.
Colossians 2:10 “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.”
Xo,
Victoria :)