Hi friends! Today I'm here to talk about a serious topic that is very near to my heart, friendships and when they're tough. I've had my fair share of bad friendships. In elementary school, my 'bestfriend' stopped talking to me for no reason and all of a sudden no one at school would talk to me. I also found myself so desperate for friends in middle school that I would be friends with people focused on shallow things, who weren't building me up. Even today, I have much better relationships with my friends, but I often feel like the third wheel in my groups or the second choice. I'm so greatful for my online sister-ships that keep me going sometimes. But enough about me, onto the point..
We've all been through tough times with friends. It could be as simple as you feel like you're putting alot into a friendship and the other person isn't. You might be going through an ongoing fight with someone, or you secretly feel like they don't value you or make you feel worthy. Or you might've just grown apart from someone overtime. All of these have happened to me at some point or another. It's awful. Fighting is the worst, theres so much mental pain. But not feeling valued or loved or feeling like the second choice is just as tough mentally. And I'm guessing you feel like there's nothing you can do about any of these problems. Well guess what, there is.
1. Place it in God's hands.
I know what you're thinking. "Um Claire that is the obvious answer that any church person would give me." Okay true, but heres my reasoning. God wants to help you through this. He will help you through this. Ask him to open your friends heart, to understand things from the other person's point of view, and ask him to lead the friendship in the direction he wants it. Bottom line, you need to talk to God first. Don't resort to it last because you can't figure out anything else to do. I guarantee God has an answer for you.
2. Kill them with Kindness.
If you're dealing with an unresolved argument, the best thing you can do is to love them. Treat them with the same loving attitude you always do, because that shows you really care about them. Besides, the Bible wants us to love and pray for our enemies.
3. Move on, but with Grace.
Sometimes friendships just fade with time. Thats a natural thing. But don't drop a relationship all at once. Be your normal amazing self like I said above, but you don't have to put so much into the relationship. Over time it will move on, and you can still be cordial and polite to that person, but you don't have to be super duper close. Maintain the relationship, not the level of friendship from before.
4. Understand it from their view.
Sometimes if you disagree, you have to step back and see it from their point of view. Watch your words, and think about what they sound like from another point of view. Words can easily break a relationship, if they are interpreted wrong.
5. It's ok to be Emotional.
Crying is okay. Crying makes me feel 500% better and relieves my stress. It's okay to want to have a moment and be emotional, and talk to God. But don't pity yourself, because it will go downhill from there. It's perfectly natural to want to be emotional.
Matthew 5:44 - "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
Proverbs 18:24 - One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Hope you enjoyed this post!
We've all been through tough times with friends. It could be as simple as you feel like you're putting alot into a friendship and the other person isn't. You might be going through an ongoing fight with someone, or you secretly feel like they don't value you or make you feel worthy. Or you might've just grown apart from someone overtime. All of these have happened to me at some point or another. It's awful. Fighting is the worst, theres so much mental pain. But not feeling valued or loved or feeling like the second choice is just as tough mentally. And I'm guessing you feel like there's nothing you can do about any of these problems. Well guess what, there is.
1. Place it in God's hands.
I know what you're thinking. "Um Claire that is the obvious answer that any church person would give me." Okay true, but heres my reasoning. God wants to help you through this. He will help you through this. Ask him to open your friends heart, to understand things from the other person's point of view, and ask him to lead the friendship in the direction he wants it. Bottom line, you need to talk to God first. Don't resort to it last because you can't figure out anything else to do. I guarantee God has an answer for you.
2. Kill them with Kindness.
If you're dealing with an unresolved argument, the best thing you can do is to love them. Treat them with the same loving attitude you always do, because that shows you really care about them. Besides, the Bible wants us to love and pray for our enemies.
3. Move on, but with Grace.
Sometimes friendships just fade with time. Thats a natural thing. But don't drop a relationship all at once. Be your normal amazing self like I said above, but you don't have to put so much into the relationship. Over time it will move on, and you can still be cordial and polite to that person, but you don't have to be super duper close. Maintain the relationship, not the level of friendship from before.
4. Understand it from their view.
Sometimes if you disagree, you have to step back and see it from their point of view. Watch your words, and think about what they sound like from another point of view. Words can easily break a relationship, if they are interpreted wrong.
5. It's ok to be Emotional.
Crying is okay. Crying makes me feel 500% better and relieves my stress. It's okay to want to have a moment and be emotional, and talk to God. But don't pity yourself, because it will go downhill from there. It's perfectly natural to want to be emotional.
Matthew 5:44 - "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
Proverbs 18:24 - One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Hope you enjoyed this post!